NYE

Ladies, there were several things I noticed while working NYE. They're things that I don't think you, as drunken girls worried about dancing and shots, actually noticed. So I decided to write a few down here so that you'll understand a little better what actually goes on and be a little better prepared for next year.

-If you're worried about getting roofied (as almost half of the girls who found out they couldn't take drinks into the bathroom claimed to be), don't ask some totally random stranger you just met, but feel like you bonded with because you both just finished dancing to that one song that was playing not too long ago, to watch your drink while you're away! If you can't take your drink into the bathroom (which is done to prevent the 18+ kids at the party from drinking in there). Finish it before going in (cause let's be honest, there's a half hour wait anyway). Or an even crazier thought, since you all travel in packs to go relieve yourselves, find the one girl who doesn't actually have to go, and is just going in for mindless girl talk. Have her stay outside and watch the drinks. If she feels unincluded about the meaningless chit chat going on while the rest of you are breaking the seal, just text her while she waits. Or better yet, nurture her own independence. That way, she builds confidence, and none of you get any extra special ingredients in your vodka infused trash you call a drink.

-Let's get something straight. It is winter. We live in Minnesota. There's snow both on the ground, and falling from the sky. So of COURSE you're going to be cold in a super thin dress that barely covers your lady parts. Now, I'm not saying that its a horrible look on some. But if you're going to wear that, you have to have realized at some point while putting it on that its cold outside. AND YOU STILL CHOOSE TO WEAR IT!!! So I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy whatsoever. Jesus invented jackets, and Lady Gaga invented leggings. 2 accessories right there that would take any outfit and make it warmer without actually ruining the look. Just saying.

-While we're on the subject of outfits girls, don't hate me for what I'm about to say...

-There's nothing wrong with a bigger girl. At all. Tons of guys love them, and they deserve love just like everyone else. Coming from me, as a big guy myself, I understand, at least a little. However, what I do not understand is why, when you could find an outfit thousands of times more flattering that would actually make you look good, why do some of you bigger girls wear dresses that are clearly 4-5 times too small for you? It's almost like you don't want guys talking to you. I'm sorry. But the chances of you getting that guys attention go way up if you're dressed for success rather than in a latex dress so tight Paris Hilton would have breathing problems wearing. You all know what I'm talking about.

-If you're trying to dance up on a bouncer while he's doing his job, stop. And also don't get offended if he doesn't dance back. He's got a job to do. So don't freak out and assume he's a jerk or that he hates you or something like that. If you want to talk to him, then get his number and talk to him after-hours.

-Please, don't expect any servers, shot girls, bartenders, barbacks, bouncers, or the DJ to come to your place for an after party. Not only have we just been taking care of you all night and don't want to have to continue to do so there, a lot of us just want to go to bed. Most people who work at a bar, do it as a 2nd job so we need to get home and sleep for our grown up jobs the next day. Plus, we have to stay an extra hour or so to clean up after all of you trashed the place and left. By the time 3:30 rolls around, no after party is still happening anymore anyay. So, ask if you want, but don't get upset when we don't show up.

-Final thoughts of the night: if the guy you're with is a douche. Like a blatantly obvious, jersey-shore-wanna-be, has-a-pinky-ring, or a wears-a-nickelback-t-shirt-to-a-bar, douche, don't expect to be treated with the respect you want and deserve. It just won't happen. A douchey guy is incapable of caring about anything other than himself and what he thinks is cool. Like: spray tans, driving big pickup trucks in the city, and laughing at people who are different. He says he might care about you. But odds are, to him, you're an accessory. Another thing to make him look cool. Do yourself a favor and find a guy who actually cares about you, not one that just says he does but then scopes out all the other talent in the room when you go on your half hour potty break.

That's all for now. I'll post about dudes tomorrow.