Stupidity at its Finest

-Ladies, quit lying about your weight on your IDs, and guys, quit lying about your height. Those things matter.

-If you hit me, you're going to jail. Nuff said.

-If I tell you that you need to move, or else I will move you for you, I'm not kidding. Either way, you will not stay in that spot. Alas, it seems every week there's always gotta be at least one 160 pound guy who thinks he's immobile and that I'm just kidding. He isn't, and I'm not.

-Coat check is 2 bucks. Leaving your coat in your car is free. And no, you can not put 3 coats on one hanger. Don't cry for my manager just because you don't want to shell out 200 whole pennies for us to watch your coat.

-There's no point in showing up early enough for 241s if you're just going to carry around both bottles all night, never taking a sip from either.

-If you're actually close friends with someone who works at the bar, its ok to take advantage of that every now and again. And feel free to go say hello if they're not busy at the moment. But this only applies to close friends. Just because you caught someone's name, doesn't mean you get to drop it when you're mad about having to tuck your shirt in.

-IDK what other bars you go to that let you in without ID, but its not any one I've ever worked at. And I've worked at more than a few over the past 5 years. So, its a safe bet that you'll need it. Don't show up and play the "I don't have my ID, I didn't know I'd need it" card. It's not my problem you're an idiot. You're not getting in.

-And while we're on the subject, have your ID ready to go when you get there. Don't wait in line, then dig through your purse for 5 minutes looking for your ID when you finally get to the person checking them.

-Those little yellow papers you get when your license gets clipped? Yeah. You need those. They're important.

-If you can't get in because you don't have proper ID, don't try coming through the line again with your buddy's license. All that's gonna happen is you're gonna get your friend pissed at you when I keep it and don't give it back.

-Proper ID consists of: US State ID, military ID, or passport. That's it. I don't care if you have a drivers license from Swaziland. It's not gonna work with me.

-Last one for this week... Guys, put your collar down. And don't ever pop it again. You look like a douche.