I get a lot of guys who come up and ask me what it takes to be a bouncer. Well, let me tell you...
When I first started working as a bouncer, it was explained to me as this: "You basically can't be a deadbeat, and at least look like you can handle yourself."
That's about it.
Good work ethic, and at least the appearance of being tough. There's a high turn around for bouncers though. Mainly because guys think its gonna be cool, and I can't lie, it is. It's a really fun job. However, guys start thinking its all gonna be looking cool and picking up chicks (and that is a part of it), but then they discover its actually a real job and you've gotta actually do work. 90% of all bouncers are basically glorified janitors. You stand in the corner, watch the crowd, and pick up any used, empty cups people leave around, and you also get the glamorous job of moping up any spills and or various bodily fluids that might protrude from intoxicated patrons. I'm talking about vomit here folks. Doesn't happen a lot, but it does happen. If a fight breaks out literally right in front of you, you can step in. But otherwise, you just keep things tidy. Also, at the end of the night, you get to help clean the bar! Neat, huh? This usually entails garbage duty. That's right, you carry out all the trash cans, dump them in the dumpster and try your best not to get all the excess alcohol in the bottom of each can all over your shoes. At a lot of places, you'll be responsible to carry kegs for the bartenders. Especially if the bartenders are chicks, or pretentious dudes who are worried about their hair all the time. So, about 98% of all bars will put you on keg duty. You also get to sweep, and many times mop, the floors. As well as move tables, chairs, and beer tubs. Then you get to clean all those things too. Bar closes at 2, everyone has to be out by 215. You usually don't leave till at least 3. Depending on how fast you clean. Oh, did I mention you also take care of the bathrooms? Cause you do. And while the female gender is a beautiful, graceful, and all around sexy, sexy gender, girls are disgusting. Especially when they know they don't have to clean the bathroom they're using. It's like all bets are off. And when you add alcohol to the mix? Let me tell you, its not pretty. I've seen things. Horrible things that would make your skin crawl. I've been going to school for biology for years now, I was even premed for a while, so the human body, and the stuff that comes out of it, usually doesn't bother me, but there have been some things, things that I wish I could unsee that I never can...
Not trying to deter anyone from becoming a bouncer. Just trying to be up front and clear about the responsiblities that you'll have to take care of. The guys you see out front checking IDs, or the guys you see floating around inside, who actually take care of kicking people out, have usually put in a lot of time before they do those things. Because, managers know that there's a high turn around, and want their guys to prove they're good workers before giving them extra responsiblity and liability. I used to work at one of the biggest clubs in downtown Minneapolis, and my security manager there told me the average time a guy works for him is about 3 weeks before quitting. So he makes his new guys work for about 6 months before they get to start doing the really cool stuff. That's not the case for every bar, but most do start you out at the bottom and you've gotta work your way up by proving yourself.
You might never get to be the guy at the door. Though, the best way to get to do that job is to be big. Not all bouncers are large dudes. Most are fairly average. But usually, the guys at the door are bigger. Managers do this mainly because if someone is outside, looking at the bar, and they see a huge guy at the door, they're gonna assume there's big guys inside too and that its a safer place to go. It's all marketing really. Now, this isn't an absolute, I had a guy at one place working for me who checked IDs at the door who was 5'8" and a good 150lbs. So, if you're not huge, don't assume you can't do it. The biggest thing about working the door is not your size, but competence. It's the hardest job at a bar. Because you are the main line of defense against underage drinking. And in a lot of places, the only line. Bartenders are too busy to check everyone's ID before they serve them. They assume that you've checked them, and that's why they're inside. So they don't worry about it. They rely on you. It's a huge responsiblity. And a lot of liability. IDK about everywhere else in the country, but in Minneapolis, if the police send a complience check to your bar, aka a minor with a fake ID, and you miss it, you get a $600 fine, and can be arrested. Also, the bar has to redo its training for ID checking and if it happens multiple times, can lose their liquor license. So, there's a good chance you'll also lose your job because you've shown that you're not capable of doing your job. So, its a big deal to work the door.
Sometimes, things do get rough. So you've gotta be prepared for that. Also, one of the biggest things you need, personality wise, is patience and a slow temper. You're going to have guys, and girls, push you. You gotta be able to keep your cool. You will also be called every horrible name you can imagine. You need thick skin to ignore it. You can't be getting into fights over being insulted, or even physically provoked. A guy who can't control his temper in a bar is a liability and needs to be gotten rid of. Yes, there are times when you need to take care of business. And quite honestly, when you do, it can be fun. Adrenaline gets going and you look awesome for the crowd watching you. Unless you just get destroyed. Then you look like a punk. But you need to remember, there's a crowd watching you. Which means there's witnesses. And most of them have cell phones with cameras. Not to mention bar security cameras. The cops are gonna show up, and you'll need to make a police report and give an account for your actions. So, you need to be able to handle yourself and control a situation, without going overboard. You can only use as much force as necessary to stop things from happening. After that, you're becoming the aggressor and that means you can get in a lot of trouble yourself.
So, keep those things in mind. I do encourage anyone thinking about becoming a bouncer to try it. It really is fun. You get prestige, attention, and you're basically getting paid to party and be at the bar. Just know that most places won't let you drink while on the clock. And yeah girls will dance up on you, but you can't let yourself get too distracted. Also, if you have a girlfriend, prepare to have to cater to her insecurities a little more because of your job. Other than that, its fun. I love doing it. Sure I don't wanna be doing it when I'm 38, but I'm 25 right now, and its a blast.
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